March Update


Hello, hope everyone has been OK. For a little bit of time I was thinking of doing an update every 2 months or so, like I used to. However my personal posts do tend to be among my more popular ones. So I thought why not just stick to doing a personal update each month, especially considering that things are changing so rapidly at the moment!

If you are in the UK, you will be aware that schools are returning this week (as I’m writing this, it is the 8th). The first day in my case just being for testing (for covid, not academic testing😂). But as pathetic as this may sound, I was actually quite nervous about returning, firstly because of the testing. And no, I am not against testing at all, it would be even more of a potential disaster otherwise. But it is just the though of having to do it, but I am sure we will all get used to it. Going back to it now, the testing is literally fine. Apart from that, general feelings around returning are a bit of a mixed bag. I am of course looking forward to seeing friends and being with people again, and I think I generally get more work done when I am at school, compared to when I am working at home. And while it will be different to “normal”, things have been for over a year now. And as bad as things are, least we don’t have to go to assembly, and in my case, I probably will never have to again!😉

While regarding grades, I have kind of accepted that I may not quite get the grades that I want, although of course it will depend on how well I do in the exams, and on how nice the teachers will choose to be. But on the same token, at least I can be confident in that I should be able to get the grades I need for the university I’m most likely going to go to later this year. Really it is just the annoyance of not knowing what is going to happen!😡

In myself I have actually been pretty good, better than I felt back in late autumn/winter. Perhaps it is because of the weather, but who knows. Lets just hope it lasts! Like many young people I am pretty excited for summer, and I feel things by then should be better than they are now as a result of the vaccine. Although from saying this, I honestly dread to think of the more long term consequences of all of this. I mean I want to say it will be fine, but so many people will be affected by this.

I have been practicing driving, and I think it is slowly going in the right direction, although not to rant or anything, but there are so many bloody lunatics on the road🙄 As you can guess, I am still on furlough. Although I am quite worried that the pub may not want me back when they re-open, probably a rather irrational thought, but it has been a while (since the most recent lockdown).

From editing this now, I can see that a few things have already changed a little, although at the same time things are pretty much the same. I don’t know.

3Ts on Twitter: "If your head's all over the place this #MensHealthWeek start by visiting: https://t.co/7kfKhVkx4X (RoI) or https://t.co/DO190L2S8m (NI) @PaveePoint @SeeChangeIRL… https://t.co/nTPHOxAf3x"

Flex Culture


Haven’t we become so obsessed. With flexing what we have, what we have done and who we are! It is like this fat ass competition, as to “ohh, I wonder who here is able to afford this”, “ohh, I wonder who is likely to be so successful that they become super rich in the future”, and “let’s flex pictures of our homes, lives and holidays so that we look better.” This way, everyone can see what we have. However it doesn’t stop there. Because even when uploading on our personal social media accounts, it is as if we are branding ourselves rather than posting our genuine lives and selves. As students, one of the first questions we ask each other is “what are you studying?”, while as adults it becomes “what job do you have?” And while we should congratulate others for what they achieve in life, and of course we should be proud of ourselves for what we accomplish, surely there is also more to life?

Examples of “Flex Culture”

Usually I would begin with a definition, however it is one of these things which we all see so often. So instead, to make you aware of the extent of of it currently, let’s illustrate what it is with using a few recent examples. A recent one would be off good old TikTok, where mainly teenage boys would flex their wealth, via the “rich boy check” (yawn). This may also be a place to bring up Kim Kardashian’s $23,000 diaper (nappy!) bag (double yawn), as well as ridiculously expensive clothing hauls, like the $30,000 guicci haul. Whilst there are many who would count themselves lucky if they were able to spend a 100th of that amount on clothing, if that. Another time, Jeffree Star and Shane Dawson filmed themselves throwing away $1 million worth of expired makeup. Who would have that amount of makeup in the first place? As you can guess, many would mercilessly mock those choosing to partake in the “rich boy” challenge, meanwhile you can imagine that the amount of makeup thrown away would have also driven a lot of backlash.

Nevertheless, generally speaking, flex culture is rather more discreet, and can take way in a number of forms. Flexing has been apparent in music for some time, with artists usually rapping about how much wealth they have, or about the number of cars they have. Furthermore, as already mentioned, flexing extends far beyond wealth, and can often look like people talking a lot about their academic or professional achievements. Or even “success” attained in personal lives, such as young romantic relationships and marriages, when we are all different!

“Fake it ’till You Make It!”

As much as many may dream of attaining huge amounts of wealth, for most this is only ever going to be a dream. So to compensate, the cheapest and probably the easiest way would be photo shopping. However it can be fairly easy to tell if something has been photo-shopped in this way, so if someone has a little extra money to dash, then they may choose to rent “luxury” items. In hope that it will be assumed they actually own these items. However a more obscure attempt, was when someone photoed themselves near a toilet seat, to make it look as if they were by an airplane window (and yes, this has been turned into a meme, which I initially fell for)! There is also plenty of help available for those wanting to make it look as if they are very wealthy. Including “how to” guides posted online, like a video titled “10 Ways to Look Expensive on a Budget”, which gained 1.5 million views on youtube. Now as I run this blog, and as most of you reading this post are going to be bloggers, I’d like to point out here that especially on pinterest, there are loads of adverts stating how to make huge and unrealistic amounts of money from blogging, in a very short amount of time. It does seem that for many, how much we make from something is a large motivator behind why they choose to do it. And if that fails, then it is going to be about how many followers people can get.

Why are we like this

So as crazy as some of these apparent trends may seem to us, I am sure that many of us have at least related to some of the ways in which we may flex ourselves, without necessarily realising we are doing so. Nonetheless, this raises the question of what caused us to become so obsessed over what we have. An economic explanation would be conspicuous consumption, which relates to spending money on luxury goods and services to show status or economic power. And of course there are multiple reasons which could attempt to explain this, but a large amount of this could be down to the initial focus on attaining wealth, meaning there is pressure upon everyone to become more wealthy. Therefore if one is able to show this off, then it is likely they would choose to do so.

Why this is bad for us all?

We have all been taught in life, some to differing degrees, that success=money. Yes, I know this sounds really clique, but that is the case, sadly. A project called inequaligram, run by the City University of New York, which looked at 7.5 million instagram posts shared in Manhattan, showed that wealthy neighborhoods were dramatically over-represented in posts, including those from people who lived in poorer parts of the city. This highly suggests that while richer people are going to be in more of a privileged position to have the time to share on social media more frequently, we all are more invested in the lives of rich people. Yet it seems that very few of us like flexing when it is too obvious.

So most of you before will have probably already had the view that flex culture is actually pretty ugly. And that those who hugely engage in it, who the world seems to hate yet love, are most likely to live pretty sad lives. Nevertheless, it is important to recognise how much society encourages flex culture, which while it may be more discreet, it still isn’t going to be too good for us.

The Psychological Impact of Seeing YouTubers Spend Millions | WIRED

‘Flexing’ or bragging about wealth may stop you from making friends, study shows (insider.com)

It’s Time to Tone Down Flexing on Social Media | 34th Street Magazine (34st.com)

Appearing wealthy on social media has become its own industry (macleans.ca)

What is “Flexing”? And Why You Shouldn’t | Strategy Lab Marketing Regina

Girl Boss Feminism


“Hello Gals!” Look at all of you sexy wildcats; all part of the Girl Boss Feminism movement. Hope you are all ready to SMASH that glass ceiling today, so that you can not only be as good as those smelly old men working at the top of the building, but better! Look come on, if I can do it, then you can too. And with regards to any especially males who attempt to get in your way, just don’t have it! Push them out of the way, push someone else too out of the way if you feel the need to. As you don’t have to worry, because YOU are more than just some strong woman, but you are a Girl Boss!

Some of you reading this, probably are not actually too keen on this idea. But ask yourself, if you had the opportunity where you were guaranteed fame and fortune on the grounds that you worked for 16 hours a day, then would you take it? Yet you know that this most certainly is not going to guarantee you success, even if you are among one of the more privileged people in society. Because to actually become a “girl boss” in the traditional sense, usually means that people need to have plenty of money in the first place, whilst being white and having the correct connections is also certainly a help! Therefore it becomes pretty apparent that girl boss feminism may not be as promising as it may look to begin with. This way, we ought to all ask ourselves how empowering this movement really is, if its main aim is to seek out kind of equality in a world full of inequality…

What is a Girl Boss

Alright, so I have waffled on quite a bit, but if you hadn’t heard of the expression “girl boss” before, then according to the free dictionary, it refers to a “confident, capable woman, who pursues her own ambitions rather than working for others or settling down in life.” Although the definition doesn’t explicitly state this, it seems that a Girl Boss is generally used to describe a woman working in business. Generally a CEO or an entrepreneur. A prime example of this would be the role of Sophia Amoruso in founding Nasty gal, which resulted in a netflix show, based on her story. Many other women will have obviously been associated with this term, but many have also adopted it for themselves, including Lilly Singh, writer of “how to be a barister”, Nicole Lapin, author of “Boss Bitch” and Ivanka Trump, writer of “Women who Work.”

Constraining

While the idea of a girl boss may seem very empowering at first, as already mentioned, there are very few women who are in the position of having the opportunity of becoming a “girl Boss.” This means that the idea of being a girl boss is very limited to a negligible number of women, meaning it is hardly inclusive.

Not Really Feminism

From this, I cannot see how this can be a form of genuine feminism, when it excludes the vast majority of women. Now of course some could hope, but any woman of colour seeing this movement would immediately know that it isn’t for them, as the vast majority of all known “girl bosses” are white. Furthermore, anyone who is from a working class background can forget it. Feminism really needs to be about supporting and empowering ALL women, and about challenging the structural kind of “man’s world (click the link to get to a wonderful song) we are living in. Which has led to individual issues, based on sexism, which people of all genders have to face. The firm “cheer”, where many saw Monica Aldamia as the classic girl boss, shows how Girl Bosses may not be as feminist and “empowering” as some women would like to think they are. However the business showed a lack of commitment to feminist causes, which has arguably been obscured due to her simply being a female navigating a male dominated sphere.

Feminism + Capitalism=

So if you search the term “girl boss”, then apart from different articles coming up about it, you will also find there are a good number of “girl boss” products which you can buy. Yeah, not too surprising. As an example, a young women a few years ago may have felt empowered by wearing a “girl boss” Te-shirt, by associating herself to this term. The clear irony here is that women with very few, if not no rights and with barely enough pay to survive on, would have been behind making them. Moreover the broader message about girl boss culture, is of course about equating a kind of financial success, thus twisting feminism toward capitalism.

Do YOU Want to be a Girl Boss

We can all see how problematic this term is, nevertheless with the persistent pressures of accomplishing success, it is not too surprising why so many young women would want to aspire to it. Even if it is not something we are immediately aware of. Yet someone who is busy all of the time, even if they are working on things which they want to achieve for themselves, is not likely to be living the best life. Just think what they may be missing out on. And even if someone does manage to “break that glass ceiling”, ending up with millions of pounds in their pocket, and becoming well known, is not necessarily going to be happy. In fact, I can imagine it is an incredibly lonely life. Going back to the fonder of nasty gal, she stated that while she was managing to accomplish so much, she once got photo shopped into a group of people.

But at the same time, some do strive to become successful, and are likely to consider wealth at least as an indicator of success. White women are in this strange position of intersectionality, where their gender obviously acts as a constriction, yet their race is a massive privilege. Therefore trying to break boundaries may seem like a really inspirational thing to do. But before any of us try to work ourselves to death, or attempt to push someone out of the way, remember that neither of these choices will really achieve true equality,, or true happiness for anyone.

Productivity Culture


There is always something, isn’t there. Something that you need to get done. And there are two types of people. Those who keep a diary, jam packed with tasks which the owner needs/wants to complete before a certain time. While there are those who don’t keep a diary, and are equally as busy, yet instead their heads are carrying the things which need to be done. And if you don’t keep a diary, then I can make two assumptions. One, that your head is filled up with things which need to be done, and two, you probably wish that you kept a diary! Who else here is the latter?

Because let’s face it! Most of us know what it is like to be constantly busy, and in fact many of us too take so much pride in it, to the extent that we decide to track down literally everything we do. Just think, people tracking their steps, people tracking how much water they drink each day not to mention all these guides which enable and encourage people to get as much done as possible each day, ensuring that they stay up on their toes. From this, it is rather clear the general message is that the more we achieve, the more worthy we are…

Why are we Like This?

Before we begin, the reason why most of us are so good at chatting to others when we are supposed to be doing work, have this natural tendency to aminously scroll through our phones or just drift off into a daydream, is because we are human! So how come we are so good at shaming ourselves for being this way?

Partly, it could be down to a feeling of lack of control in the world we are living in, which means we choose to engage in productivity culture so then we can at least measure something which is within our control. Another reason is because we are in this world where there is so much pressure to achieve, that many feel that they must do whatever, even if it involves sacrificing their health, to achieve as much as they possibly can (which can actually be counter productive). A similar reason is that many highly link what they achieve to their self worth. In ways, this may seem like a positive, because it makes us feel as if we are in control of something that’s not only healthy, but really it is enabling us to become “better” versions of ourselves, and fundamentally more “successful”. Therefore it is not too surprising as to why it is seen as a much better alternative to engaging in physically unhealthy behaviors.

But What Actually Caused This?

The previous paragraph may explain why we seem to like the idea of being productive, but what was it that actually taught us how important this is? Well it is suggested that it could be as a result of neo-liberalism, which highly values output and productivity. Subsequently, as people grow up into a system which highly encourages being busy all the time, while trying to get more done in a shorter period of time, it means that as adults it is hard for us to step back from this culture and focus on the more important aspects of life. And of course if we are having difficulty in our lives, at least we can attempt to compensate this by being more productive.

Productivity as a Measure of Output

The economic system we are in highly focuses on the accumulation of money and possessions, which dictates the private capital. This can lead us to wanting to measure anything which we achieve, which can be dangerous because many can use this as a way of measuring their self worth. Just as an example, I know from experience that a lot of people (including myself in the past) have used grades as a way of defining their self worth. This is ridiculous when you think they most certainly do not begin to give the full picture of the person’s skills and capabilities. Not to mention, their value as a fellow human being!

Side Hustling

This has probably been exasperated as a result of the pandemic, as job security has worsened, and many have wanted to find other ways on how to make a little extra income. One of the ways this can be done, is by making our hobby into something which we can profit from, which can involve selling things like art online. Again, in my view there is nothing wrong with attempting to make a little money online from a hobby, especially when you consider the current economic situation. But when this becomes the key focus rather than any thing else the person gets out of it, then this does become a problem. Plus what happened to taking time for ourselves? Because as the pressure on people to try to make money from their hobbies increases, things which people do to supposedly unwind become less enjoyable and can feel more tiring. Which can potentially lead to burnout.

Why is this an Issue?

Thinking about it, it is ridiculous how anyone can think of their self worth as a measure of how much they get done. Yet I feel that this is the case for so many. Firstly it can mean that what we really get out of our leisure time is constricted, because instead of us really using it as a time to wind down, many are choosing to measure how much of a certain activity, such as exercise, can be achieved within a certain time. And while there nothing wrong with wanting to get better at something, it is not good either when we are unable to do anything just for pure enjoyment. In one instance, someone outlined how they aimed to read 26 books in a year, therefore chose to create a spreadsheet to track her progress. It became such a good idea among her friendship group, that she ended up sending this spread sheet to many of them as well. As already said, there is nothing wrong with us wanting to track our progress, but when we get to the stage where this happens with practically every element of our lives, not to mention the pressure on sharing it online, it can lead to leisure time leaving us feeling more drained rather than less.

Finally, at the end of the day, we are all human. And in-spite of all the pressure there is to get as much done as possible, we need to remember that this is not how we are naturally supposed to be.

What Is Toxic Productivity (and How Do I Avoid It)? — Create + Cultivate

Being obsessed with being productive … is unproductive – The Washington Post

The problem with productivity culture is that we aren’t robots (yahoo.com)

Problems with productivity culture | Lifestyle | iowastatedaily.com

Why Are We So Obsessed With Productivity? – The Gloss Magazine

Why Are We So Obsessed With Productivity? (fastcompany.com)

pacquing_june2017.pdf (kritike.org)

My Problem with Childrens Clothing


Anyone else find it slightly disturbing when seeing 13-14 year olds who could almost pass for 18? Alright, let’s rephrase this. So as an 18 year old, when I see people a lot younger than me, who also sort of look my age, it does make me feel a little uneasy. But deep down, we all know it is pretty sad that young teenagers are feeling this pressure to dress as if they are a lot older in the first place. And while of course there are going to be a good number of reasons for this, it doesn’t help that shops seem to be filled with clothing geared toward young children.

It All Starts From When you were Young

I imagine we have all seen it. Slightly short and very sparkly dresses, punchy pink ballet pumps, and tops which show half of someone’s mid section. All being sold in the under 12s area. Yeah, I know… However, after reading this post, this will sound like nothing… For instance, do you think that it is safe, not to mention practical for 8 year olds to be wearing 3 inch heels. It is certainly not appropriate when padded bras and padded bikini tops are sold for pre-puberty aged children, not to mention the “future hag” Te-shirt which was sold in Primark’s kids section. Just as one Mum states, “most daughters want to aspire a little more than to being a hag”. Especially when they are (hopefully) too young to know the meaning of such words…

What Actually Caused this

Obviously I don’t really have any idea as to what children’s clothing looked like 40 years ago, but I would imagine that it was; well, let’s use the term more practical compared to what it is now. But there has got to be a reason for this change. For a start, due to the “tech savvy” and “visual” world we are living in now, there is that bit more pressure on parents to be taking “nice pictures” of their children, to show them to friends. Which has never been easier than before, due to easily being able to post anything online where the pictures are likely to reach more than just the parent’s close friends. Along with “reality stars” and all sorts of adverts, be it online or on TV, this enhances the pressure on parents to go out and find the “right” clothing for their children. And with cheaper alternatives, which stores like Primark have to offer, it means that most parents don’t really have an excuse. Therefore in time, it only makes sense that children will be influenced by their parents buying habits, as well as images the children themselves are exposed to from a really young age. Meaning in time, they will naturally become more aware of, and choose to pay more attention to their appearance, leading to them to want to start picking out their own outfits …

But When does this Become a Problem?

The obvious argument for there being an increase in proportion of these rather “mature” clothes, would be because this is what the public want, therefore the market is going to have to respond. Nevertheless we know there have been, well “accidents”, where online brands have got it wrong, and have instead brought out something which is actually really inappropriate.

But if parents want their children to look pretty, then while these “accidents” are pretty gross, at the same time, a young girl wearing a short skirt really shouldn’t be seen as so problematic. Because they are of course far too young to be sexualised. Yet at least one Mum will disagree! She didn’t like the fact that these dresses were “slutty”, but she also stated that it wasn’t just about the dress in itself, but it was also about the way the model was “in a sexy pose, with tonnes of makeup.” Sadly this is just one of many times where in many cases very young girls have been sexualised. And while a model is a model, the poor girl shouldn’t have to be posing inn this manner considering her age, and it sends out a really negative message to other girls who may see this advert. Not helping how they view themselves, now or as they get older, and not helping with how young boys, then men may see them.

See the source image
Controversial young model who has been over sexualised in the media
Makes life harder in other ways

It makes my teeth grind, when I hear about so many schools prohibiting the younger years from wearing short shorts, vest tops and other items of clothing, on non uniform days. Including outings where the weather is hot, and there is a lot of exercise involved. Because these are literally practical items off clothing, therefore what kind off message does it send out for these young children? Because of this, it makes it increasingly difficult for young girls and then young women to be able to dress for themselves, due to the fear they will only be viewed sexually.

To Sum up

To sum up, I hope you can see why the market for kids clothing (especially for girls), is so problematic. Yet it really shouldn’t have to be. A large part of the inappropriateness seen and possibly unintentionally incorporated into the design of some of these items, is a wider reflection of the society we are in. With the hypersexualisation of many women, as well as the enhanced pressures to be keeping up with trends.

From saying this, it is also understandable as to why parents may want their children to dress up from time to time, yet the fact that a campaign, was even launched by “mumsnet” called “Let girls be girls”, calling on retailers not to sell inappropriate products, shows that parents really do not wish for their children to be sexualised. And after all, it shouldn’t be down to parents to have to complain when big brands seem to mess up. It should be down to the brands to ensure that no girls get shown in a provocative manner, and that “accidents” really should be spotted before the clothes get sold.

Sources:

Inappropriate children’s (particularly girls) clothing (netmums.com)

Too much, too young? Retailers still selling over-sexualised clothing to kids | Children | The Guardian

11 Inappropriate Pieces of Kids’ Clothing – Oddee

Are kids clothes getting out of control? – Today’s Parent

Children’s clothing increasingly oriented towards adult trends (lunajournal.biz)

Too many children dressing like adults (jamaicaobserver.com)

Is Instagram Turning Into a Shop??


Instagram has become so boring! Let’s just face it. I mean ok, there was a time where it was half enjoyable. Where the main purpose was to upload fun photos, and to interact other PEOPLE. But recently it has been quite hard to understand what it has become. Because nowadays I find so many posts where people are simply tagging products and items of clothing, half of which I am not convinced as to whether they would use them in real life. But hey, at least if we do get bored there is a whole area devoted to posts which we may like, tailored to our personal preferences. Oh wait a minute, because these posts which we can see tend to be things which we can buy!

But Hang On A Minute

But hang on a minute, it is not that bad is it? Because, obviously depending on your FYP, a good proportion of the items which can be seen are actually produced by small creators who probably wouldn’t have the opportunity to be able to sell their products if it wasn’t for the cheaper option of setting up a shop, which we can thank the internet for. For us, this not only means that there are a wider range of products which we are able to choose from, but it also means that the option of shopping from independent brands becomes a lot cheaper. So in this respect the internet has become an excellent tool enabling small brands, and individual business people to compete, and actually attain success in selling their produce which they are likely to have put immense effort into.

But there are problems

Like most people, I love small brands. I love being able to support small businesses when I can, and I hate hearing about the enormous control, and the exploitative practices of the “big brand.” While like many, I do like to have some freedom where it comes to where I buy products from. Yet buying from small brands, even online, is still likely to be more expensive than buying from a small brand elsewhere. Subsequently, this has enabled large online stores like Shein to elbow through, and be able to sell all sorts of products and a range of styles, which often appear very similar to popular and more expensive alternatives. And just to indicate the extent of this advertising, I actually came across an advert for Shein, as I was researching this particular topic!

The World of Influencers

Let’s face it, these days the internet wouldn’t be the internet without influences. Personally I find it hard to have too much of an issue with people making a little money from tagging a product which they like and use, after having worked hard to build up platforms online where enough people are hearing about them. Especially in the middle of a pandemic where many people have lost their jobs, and are needing to find alternative sources of income to get by. Nevertheless when our feed is overloaded by posts like this, it becomes problematic because it means we are spending an increasing amount of our leisure time, scrolling through adverts, rather than interacting with others, or engaging in other hobbies. And we also know that many of these influencers are actually very privileged, and are earning far more than enough money needed to scrape by.

What Will Happen in the Future?

Of course there are many different sides to this argument, but I think the extent to which the internet has become commercialised is pretty sad. I understand that high streets are generally in decline, while of course more businesses are fundamentally based on the internet. But at the same time, the internet used to be a place where we could interact with others, find out more about things which interest us, and for just having a bit of fun. Yet, in my view, the money making aspect of it has certainly over the other functions of it. And it is most likely this process will continue, but it would be nice if things don’t change to the extent to which most of us cannot really enjoy the internet.

What to do in the Meantime

So while it isn’t exactly easy to escape from all of this, I think it is important for us to limit the amount of time we allocate on social media for certain activities. Now I think this works for different people, but for me I choose not to follow any of these big inflencers, and instead just what you may want to call “microinfluencers”. Meanwhile I like to use social media platforms to engage in posts which actually interest me, while if something looks like an advert, then it is almost a red flag. Maybe also have an account for only following friends, rather than anyone who may be marketing something toward you. Or maybe just occasionally turn off the phone.

Zoom Fatigue and Burnout


Remember last spring. Terrible news, but nice weather and many thought we would be coming out of this lockdown for good! Little did we know how grim this winter would be, with no warm weather, no long walks and the news has been even worse. We are all exhausted. Many are wondering why they are experiencing burnout. Possibly due to the turbulent times we are in, but as well as this it may be down to the increased time we have been devoting to video conferencing. Also known as zoom fatigue…. As apart from anything else, it seems as if we are having to spend more time on it than ever, we are sick of looking on screens and for those who are studying, teachers have managed to make use of another tool on it, being the daunting “zoom rooms”.

Social Interaction

For a start social interaction on zoom and on other video websites are a lot different and I would say a lot harder than it when done face to face. The delays for a start make communicating in a friendly way much more difficult and confusing, not to mention the technological blips! And it is not just zoom, but on other social networking sites, whether video or not, social cues are harder to express and process. And when this issue comes about when we are trying to do work, it does become tiring.

More Intense Focusing

So in any kind of meeting, we are supposed to pay attention. But if we do miss something, then at least we can ask someone else what had just been said. So if we end up switching off for a minute or two, it is not that likely that anyone is going to notice, and you should easily be able to catch up. Nevertheless if we miss something on zoom, then asking questions becomes a lot more difficult. While we obviously have to keep looking into our camera, which can be really tiring.

“Too Much Pressure!”

So I know there is a lot of pressure in day to day life. But in comparison, zoom does seem to be worse. Because in “normal” day to day life, we simply just need to make sure we look decent and that we are organised, yet on zoom there is pressure to make a space in our homes or rooms which can be seen as a professional setting, while making sure that we look decent on camera. Which, as many know, can be down to things like lighting, position of the camera and a lot more. Also it doesn’t help that we can always see ourselves… Yes, I know this does sound a bit ridiculous, but it’s true.

“Other Things”

So whilst we can see that zoom is pretty tiring, I think that the fatigue from this is definitely enhanced by other things happening to us all. For instance, all of us are having to adapt to so much change constantly. Whether it is going from being furloughed to working again, going into school or uni or having to work from home or one minute being able to see friends and family then the next minute not. Having to change all the time is rather tiring. Not to mention the extra anxiety it is adding to all of our lives. From what is occurring in the wider world, to the worries of unemployment or even unfair exam results. None of it is good. Finally while being at home all day can sound pretty chill, for many it feels like the opposite as now our working and living space becomes one therefore it often feels as if there can always be more work to be done. Not to mention those who are working from home, often feeling they need to go the extra mile so their job can remain stable.

A Neuropsychological Exploration of Zoom Fatigue | Psychiatric Times

Why Zoom Fatigue is Real and What You Can Do About It | Psychology Today

How to Combat Zoom Fatigue (hbr.org)

The reason Zoom calls drain your energy – BBC Worklife

How to Combat Zoom Fatigue (hbr.org)

Bimbofication: What Would Cause a Woman to Become a Bimbo?


“Hello everybody! How is your day going? Well mine’s going amazing. Already today I’ve dyed my hair bleach blonde, and have trampled over another Trump supporting sugar daddy! You a little confused? Aww sweetheart, don’t worry! When I popped to the shop this morning to buy my lip filler, I couldn’t count to £4.50. But hey, that doesn’t matter, because not only am I a radical leftist but I am also super hot, and “if YOU are not hot then get hot!”

Um, but surely not too long ago, young intelligent women aspired to bee something a bit more than a bimbo? Better bet to go into stem or something… But the whole purpose of the so called “new aged bimbo” is thought to be about reclaiming the degrading term, and to instead utilize it in an empowering way.

Bimbo vs New Aged Bimbo

Believe it or not, the term “bimbo” was traditionally used to describe attractive men. But as time progressed, it came to be associated with attractive, but “unintelligent” and “frivolous” women. During the early 00s it was used to describe celebrities including Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and even Amy Winehouse. Yet more recently still, it’s been used to describe a transformation, or “glow up” of someone, often as they become progressively more sexualised.

One of the many examples of Bimbofication transformation

Only really recently did the term “new aged Bimbo” come about. Whereby mainly young women on TikTok produced pink, glitzy videos empowering women, while voicing support for BLM, the LGBT+ community and sex work.

Feminist Empowerment

It is understandable that women are going to want to reclaim the term Bimbo for themselves, and allow it to enable them to embrace their femininity, as previously women dressing in this hyper feminine way were almost downgraded. And as you can guess, too much femininity was associated with traits including lack of intelligence. This may have led to women being afraid to express too much femininity. Yet as one “Bimbo” states, empowering feminist movements have been spun by misogyny into things like the “not like the other girls” saying, in aim to please the man. New aged Bimbos are all too aware of this, and instead it seems their aim is to encourage women to be more sexual for themselves, rather than for men. Ironically this resembles much of what men want, yet the political views they advocate in their videos are of which many of these men may be likely to oppose. While of course the movement does aim to be more inclusive, welcoming people of all ethnic backgrounds, genders, ages and size.

Political Message?

You are not going to need to spend much time on bimbo TikTok to realise there is some kind of political message at hand, but then you may ask yourself, why are they all still pretending to be dumb? Perhaps irony, but that’s not all! Because like it or not, someone with the appearance of a classical bimbo tends to be perceived as less intelligent, compared to their counterparts who perhaps embrace a less feminine style. But now, women have had enough. Health student Syerena, one of the popular new aged bimbos off TikTok ironically asks “why can’t we just print more money”. She points out that it is “not a protest against intelligence, it’s kind of a protest against academia and how elitist and classist it is.” But in my view, it is certainly an attempt to challenge some off the (incorrect) assumptions regarding beauty and intelligence, because although bimbo TikTok is filled with women possibly pretending to be dumb for show, it soon becomes clear they are all bright women. Furthermore of course the videos are filled with rather explicit political statements😃

Thembos and Himbos

As it aims to be inclusive, of course it should openly welcome trans and non binary people. But what I found especially interesting, was the idea of the “himbo”, considering the term’s recent associations. A “himbo” has been described as “a very attractive male, (who is) sometimes a bit dim, is very sweet and always respects women.” But this begins to make sense considering A) the fact men are often shamed for dressing in a certain feminine way and B) that it is harder for men to be vulnerable due to the stigma attached ; which is a reflection of the extent of the negativity associated with more feminine traits or behaviors.

Its Limits

While the movement is supposed to be inclusive, I have noticed that there are disproportionately fewer people of colour featuring, meaning they are less likely to feel as included. Furthermore the typical appearance of the new aged bimbo is still a strong reflection of western beauty standards possibly suggesting that being thin, blonde and white are still important. Meanwhile why should such an “empowering” movement be so heavily focused on the outer appearance.

Conclusion

A true new aged bimbo should believe that regardless of how you look, you are attractive, and personality is more important. Yet we know how much society focuses on outer appearance. But there still are good intentions and perhaps it is a good stepping stone in the right direction.

Sources:

What is the meaning of ‘bimbofication’? Six best Twitter memes! (hitc.com)

Bimbos are good, actually (mashable.com)

New Age Bimbos and Bimbofication TikTok Trend (refinery29.com)

What is Bimbofication? Meaning and Meme Explained – Stanford Arts Review

What is the meaning of ‘bimbofication’? Six best Twitter memes! (hitc.com)

Calling All Hot Idiots: Why 2021 Is The Year Of The Bimbo Renaissance (pedestrian.tv)

What’s a Himbo? And Why Is the Internet Obsessed With Them? – InsideHook

Urban Dictionary: Himbo

Toxic Positivity


Happy Monday, and Yes this is a very happy Monday! We shall all have an incredibly productive day, followed by a nice, well deserved rest. Just as long as we make sure that we stay healthy, you know by eating the right greens and going for a nice long afternoon jog, then everything else will fall in place. See, we have a choice. Oh? You’re saying things are difficult at the moment? Oh don’t worry! It could be far worse, and you are all such amazing people. Let’s just brush it off, and look on the bright side!

Heard enough? Well I imagine that it is not the first time you have heard/read words similar to these. Maybe you have been told these things by other people, and you feel that it is the right thing to do as they do seem wiser and smarter than you. And apparently happier. However perhaps you even hear these words occurring in your own mind.

But let’s be real… Have any off you actually thrived off having this kind of mindset? Or is it just a load of “toxic” blabber?

Sounding Superficial

Right, so there are a good number of sources I would say on the internet, probably in books, and off other people, which tell us how we need to think in order to simply feel better and basically thrive in life. Such as “Positive vibes only”, “don’t worry, be happy” or “Failure is not an option.” Now what do you think? Sound’s great doesn’t it? But if things were really that simple, everyone could be a lot happier.

Of course this can manifest in relationships between people, because as an example people who let themselves be dominated by toxic positivity are then perceived to be the sort of person whom others feel they cannot express anything but “good vibes” around them. Meaning others are less likely to feel as if they can “be themselves” when they are around them. Subsequently this is going to weaken the relationship, because neither person is being truly open. But what does this look like on a larger scale? Well generally it means people are reluctant to be as open about more negative aspects in their lives, and more negative feelings they may be experiencing. Furthermore this is definitely true on social media, as after spending about a minute on it, it becomes obvious that most people are only really posting about the most positive parts of their lives, and are hiding everything else.

Won’t work

Rather than toxic positivity enabling us to go on and feel better about ourselves, this is unlikely to work as instead it only causes us to sideline our problems. This means that we don’t confront our issues, meaning they are only intensified as time progresses. Therefore, sometimes “looking on the bright side” isn’t only ineffective, but it can be very unhealthy.

What we are missing out on

To start with, toxic positivity is preventing us from really growing as people, because in reality we are not really addressing our problems in order to overcome them. Plus there has also been research to show that accepting negative emotions, rather than avoiding them, is beneficial for psychological health and well-being. This is referred to as “emotional acceptance.”

Am I Taking this a bit too far?

Although I am opposed to toxic positivity, I do strongly believe in the importance of remaining positive, especially while we are in the middle of a pandemic. But there’s an enormous difference between trying to incorporate positive activities and hopefully thoughts into our daily lives, and trying to brush off, ignore or refuse to talk about any kind of negative feeling we may be experiencing.

What to say instead

So I admit that I have engaged in toxic positivity in the past. Not intentionally, but often there is the feeling of the need to provide some optimistic and seemingly helpful advise to someone. However often what is most important is knowing that someone cares. Therefore rather than saying something along the lines of “just don’t worry”, acknowledge that it is ok for them to feel anxious and let them know that you are there for them. Meanwhile, this may be slightly controversial, but I would say that sometimes acknowledging that it is a difficult situation they are going through, can be very important.

Whilst if you feel that toxic positivity is being put up upon you, then don’t be afraid to speak up, because often people genuinely do not realise that what they are trying to say isn’t helpful, so otherwise they would listen.

Sources: Toxic Positivity: The Dark Side of Positive Vibes (thepsychologygroup.com)

Toxic positivity: What is it and why is it ruining all of our lives? (thetab.com)

‘Toxic Positivity’ Is Real — and It’s a Problem During the Pandemic (healthline.com)

What Is Toxic Positivity? How To Spot It (And Avoid Spreading It) | British Vogue

7 signs your can-do attitude is actually ‘toxic positivity’ | Well+Good (wellandgood.com)

What Is Toxic Positivity & Why Do We Do It? (refinery29.com)

The “Anti-Vaccers”


Well, we are getting toward the end of February, and nearly a quarter of our population have now been vaccinated. It’s great isn’t it! Hopefully it may finally mean we will be able to safely see others again. Sounds a bit too optimistic? Well yeah, because after all, it does depend on a range of factors; one being whether enough people choose to take the dam thing or not… Yeah, after all the research, effort and expertise which has gone into producing the vaccine, people still don’t trust it.

History of Anti-Vaccers

Without boring you to death, there has been some resentment concerning vaccines for some time… Beginning in the 18th century in the US, where religious leaders would describe them as the “devil’s work.” The campaign grew in the 19th and 20th centuries as a matter of human rights. Then let’s skip to 1997, where we can thank to the works of Andrew Wakefield, a former medical doctor, Who suggested a possible link between the MMR vaccination and autism in children.  Following on, The Lancet, a respected scientific journal, initially published his research. Of course this led to many parents being reluctant to get their children vaccinated. There had also been other concerns expressed online against the vaccine.

Anti Covid Vaccers

In “normal” circumstances, it would have been unlikely for me to want a post about something like this, yet unfortunately covid has certainly exasperated the “anti vax” movement. Many of the people who have actively campaigned against the covid vaccine, have been the same people who have also campaigned against lockdowns, mask wearing and the actual existence of corona. Conspiracy theorists have included David Icke, Pierce Corbyn and Gary Matthews, who later died of corona. And because corona has dominated our world, of course more attention is going to be drawn on it. While due to unsurprising increases of anger and upset among the public, as well as thanks to the increased time spent in front of a screen, it is unsurprising many may become drawn in. Plus concerning the vaccine (well vaccines), due to it being developed much faster than most as well as that it is so new, it’s unsurprising that there is that little extra concern.

The Internet’s role

In the past, the majority of people would resort to newspapers or more recently the TV to find out what’s going on in the world. Yet now, for many, the internet has become a favorite source. And while there’s bound to be many excellent and informative articles online, concerning the vaccine, there is also a lot of rubbish. Which really, anyone can easily put out.

But how can these websites provoke so much attention? When one website states that a popular anti depressant is turning guppies into zombies, then of course there is that thing concerning Bill Gates and the microchip… Well the most basic reason would be because websites like these tend to be filled with attention gripping headlines, glossy images and dazzling info-graphics, which may appear more exciting to the average person scrolling through the internet, in comparison to a black and white scientific guide. Furthermore because content on groups is shared by people on Facebook whom people feel they have a lot in common with, I would say they would be more likely to be drawn into the content rather than otherwise. So while social media outlets are estimated to be making $1 billion a year off anti vax content, more people are being persuaded against taking certain vaccinations, which of course could cost lives…

Actually “understanding it”

But another reason as to why many are suspicious of vaccines and science in general could be down to a breakdown of trust in the establishments. This could be down to feelings of being let down, or lied to in the past. Hence why certain groups on social media and websites are getting rather popular. However there is another force at play, being entrepreneurs who reach around half of the anti-vaccine following, exposing them to advertisements for products purporting to have health benefits.

Can YOU do Anything About it?

So it may seem pointless in trying to take action against a movement which is fueled by so much passion and angst (I’m not too sure if these are the correct words). However there has been an extinction made between two main groups of people, those who are passionately anti vax and who are fueling the movement, and those who have more suspicions about certain vaccines (especially the covid vaccine considering that it is new). While as we know the internet is rather good at persuading people one way or another. But in this respect, all of us who are persuaded to take the vaccine have a voice and a role to play in persuading others who are unsure of the vaccine, that it is completely safe. However (unfortunately) trying to “cancel” those groups who are certain about not taking any vaccine, would be extremely unlikely to be of any help. Because these are very deep rooted beliefs, which will need to be tackled, in the long run.

Sources:

Rage against Science, why we oppose Anti-Vaxxers – Kaleidoscope Project

Anti-vaxxer: Definition, beliefs, risks, and more (medicalnewstoday.com)

~ Disclaimer, this IS an antivax wwebsite: The top 10 bombshell VACCINE stories of 2019 – NaturalNews.com

The online anti-vaccine movement in the age of COVID-19 – The Lancet Digital Health

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