Hello, so sorry this post is a few days late, it is just that I have been (kind of) busy, and I would reckon that as it stands, my motivation matches that of a dead goldfish! Oh, and I also somewhat forgot… Maybe I just need to take a break, which is kind of hard considering that I have four assignments to complete this month, which require reading something like 10 long atricles/books each. So, I did decide in the end to take a break this afternoon and evening, then I will come to do more uni work tomorrow morning. May even drag myself to the library as I tend to focus so much better there haha. Also I am going home next week, only for that week, and I tend to focus better there for some reason, probably because I had so much time to adapt during lockdown, but who knows?
Anyway, let’s get back on track…
So, again in the past month nothing really big has happened, not going to lie. Although I did manage to quit a minimum wage job (I’m 19 so it’s literally 6.56, so basically nothing), to a job where I get 8 an hour, plus tips, so it’s more like 9. Also the place is nicer, the people are a little less bitchy and the manager (so far), is not a pig. Well, you can never be sure about this but at least he will talk to me rather than avoid eye contact at all costs, although maybe it doesn’t help that he overheard me implying that the staff meeting was a waste of time. All of us can be idiots I guess. Furthermore, as already mentioned, university work has been piling up a little, but it does not exactly help that there have been strikes recently. Because again, it is not exactly easy for me to focus at home, but it is the same for everyone, at least on my course, I suppose.
I definitely feel like I am more settled into university now than I was last term, and even a couple of months ago, and I have made quite a few more friends this term which I am glad about. I also (finally) decided to join debating society, and I thought I’d mention, that there is this guy there who I, well, have a bit of a crush on. Don’t worry, he has no idea of this blog! But I won’t rant on here like I would to a friend, but there will definitely be an update next month. Hopefully something positive, or if not then I can more on, however I would not be surprised if mixed signals will follow into the next few weeks. Although, in all fairness, I am pretty guilty of that myself. It is like I feel so uncomfortable flirting with people, I think it is a thing related to self esteem. But I am getting better with it, and at the end of the day I think he has figured what I think now which is good, so now it is kind of up to him to initiate. Which brings us on to another point, why is it still the social norm for the guy to initiate rather than the girl? I mean, I am aware that it is becoming a lot more common for girls to initiate, but it is still not what is expected. A bit sad really. But I will probably update you next month on this.
Finally, in myself I am feeling quite a bit better compared to last month haha, possibly slowly getting toward the stage where I am almost happy to be myself without craving all of that which I mentioned in the previous paragraph. Well, they do say to put forward the best version of yourself when you like someone, and to be like that, rather than just craving someone else. Anyhow, I am definitely so glad we are going into spring finally, and I am also looking forward to going home and seeing friends, then for the university lectures to be back to normal when I get back. Oh, and also I may be going to Portugal for a few days at the start of the Easter holiday.
So, I hope that all of you are good.
Bye for now!