Ok, so this is a bit of a more personal topic, and a rather vague title so I apologise, but I have a feeling that this will be relevant to many people. Not only myself. But it came to me too write about this, thinking about the way I felt promoting this, and potentially having other people reading this (hopefully aha). As if this starts reaching more, there’s bound to be people who don’t like or apprecriate the content. And that’s fine! I feel with anything that anyone puts out for others to see, whether that’s art, music, food; you name it. But it is only natural that somebody is likely to hate it, and somebody else is likely to love it. I am sure that it’s not only me who is rather petrified when it comes to informing others what we have created, with the anxiety that in-fact everybody is going to hate it!
However for a lot of us, this anxiety doesn’t just occur when we are showing what we have created. It can be much more common, and feel like a constant obstacle, needing to be tackled again and again every day. The worry can crop up whenever trying to communicate with people, thinking that there’s no way that I will ever be good enough for them to consider associating themselves with me. In the past, thinking through every word that has been said by myself and the person, critically thinking that what I have said is wrong, and they’ll think ill of me because of that. Or likewise, me analysing every word they come out with, twisting them in order to convince myself that they dislike me. Then worst of all, being worried in the present moment, making myself sound like even more of a moron.. Which only results in trying to avoid as many people as possible 😦
It is exuasting! I know that each individual, is affected by a fear of negativity in different ways, however being in a place where I have had this much worse, however I am still trying to overcome a lot of self doubt, I want share some personal tips on what I do to reduce this fear. And to realise the negativity is either irrelevant/untrue, or that you can use it in a productive way.
1. Ignore those who don’t really know you
So who knows your true character better; yourself or somebody who has barely anything to do with your life and has happened to call you- I don’t know, a pig or something. It is pretty obvious. When someone who doesn’t know you well is unkind, or you think that they have negative feelings about you, stop and think to yourself;; why would they have these feelings. Often they don’t mean what they say, and they would not want you to feel attacked personally. But if they would, then they must have other reason to behave in that way, as it would be impossible to truly strongly dislike someone that you barely know. Perhaps they’re having issues of their own, or maybe they are too good at displaying their grudges. But just remember that it is not your problem. From experience,, training your mind to think this way, certainly doesn’t happen overnight, and it can be quite tiring, but not as tiring as having to worry about what strangers think.
2. Still take words with a fat pinch of salt
So does the person really mean what they say. Wonder to yourself, why are they being so critical. Perhaps they may marginally dislike you, but sadly people exaggerate what thy mean, and say things they don’t even mean thanks to human nature. So if somebody doesn’t genuinely mean what they say, then why be so upset about it. Why let it get you down? Remember that if the person is saying something and you don’t understand why they are saying it, chances are the person is angry with the world rather than urself So there is not really anything you can do to resolve this. Instead be prepared to realise when someone is being unpleasant for reasons that don’t actually apply to you
3. Use the criticism in a more productive way
So if you receive this negativity or critism form somebody who actually knows you well, and you can actually see why they’re saying what they are saying, then think t yourself, how can I improve myself. I know it can be very challenging to interpret critism as something you can use in order to improve yourself especially is it is said in a nasty way from someone who you don’t like yourself.
4. Ask yourself- Is it all actually in the head
If you feel like the negativity is really getting to you, and really it is a massive concern, perhaps you are thinking worse of it than what it really is. And that is bloody difficult too, and knackering. But with recognising that some of this may be in your own head, may mean you can take the correct steps from here to improve yourself. As sometimes, just that recognition, can help in at least make you realise deep down that you should feel far less worried and negative about yourself, than what you actually feel. And I know this is a million times easier said than done,, but knowing that it is anxiety can maybe help you begin to take the first steps in healing and overcoming fears of people responding to you in a negative way.
5. Finally remember you are your amazing self, and whatever you do, unfortunately there’s going to be at least someone who doesn’t seem to approve.
This way, I suppose its the case of remembering that you are unique, and its best to be yourself, even knowing that you may get a little hate for it. Because you only live this life once, so don’t let someones negativity influence the decisions you take, or making you sso anxious you choose not to do something you would otherwise have loved to do. Being yourself, especially if you feel like a slipper on a pile of shoes, can be especially difficult. As it means you may well have differences with other people, and some may choose to be hostile to this. Nevertheless you are yourself for a reason, and only people who truly know you and yourself know how amazing you are.
So this is it, for the time being. I may choose to make a similar post to this at some other point in time. But I hope that you have enjoyed this one, and that it has possibly been remotely helpful. Also, I apologise for the spelling mistakes, especially if it appears that there’s half of the word missing. Basically if I make a mistake and then come to correct it, often for every new letter I add, it deletes the one in front.
UGH- So annoying!